5 Divorce Proceedings that showed the a worse side of Humanity
Divorces are always a tumultuous affair and can generate the most extreme of emotions, from burning passion to intense volatility. Here are some local lawyer recounted stories that display the weird, the sad and the downright insane side of the divorce proceeding.
1. [email protected]
Everyone loves a good revenge, but sometimes the best revenge isn’t a single grandiose act, but rather something petty. One client took his time to sign his soon-to-be-ex-wife to every mailing list imaginable, every bank, religious group, pornographic website he could find. Her email was quickly inundated sweet deals on yoyos, offers for meetings at The Temple of Lost Dragons Last Dance and subscriptions to Fresh Cut Gardeners Weekly. He even took it that extra step and posted an ad for her on Craigslists looking for ‘one off hook-ups’. However she turned this around and got the last laugh, as she ended up dating one of the guys that contacted her.
2. Where there’s smoke, there’s fire
It was a fierce fight over a Las Vegas purchased ashtray for these two non-smokers. The couple spent nearly $5000 in legal fees arguing over the flimsy souvenir. The Divorce lawyer kindly offered to fly to Vegas and pick her client up a brand new one for the sweet, sweet deal of only $2500. This was not a matter of the ashtray this was a matter of principal, as the husband told the lawyer that after the divorce he would smash the tray on the court steps right in front of her. After winning the cheap and useless chunk of ceramic he kept his word, laughing manically as he stared into her eyes, smashing the thing right after the decision was finalised.
3. Hey Beanie Baby, I don’t think it’s working
Beanie babies were all the rage back in the late 1990s, people were dumping their life savings into what was seen as a sure fire investment. After only four months of marriage a young couple had to split, but were left with the quite the difficult conundrum. What do we do with our combined beanie bag collection? In what can only be described as one of top 10 saddest pictures from the 90s, we witness the unhappy couple dividing up their estimated $2500-$5000 collection in front of a judge. They made the decision in a Beanie Baby draft, each choosing the next most favoured Beanie Baby. It’s a shame they got divorced, because it’s so hard to find someone that shares your obsession.
(Look up, Beanie Baby Divorce)
4. Do it for mummy, sweetie
Custody battles are some of the grittiest and hardest part of any divorce, but when it comes to winning the battle there’s a line. The very young children told the courts in very graphic, very gruesome detail of their father’s child abuse. However, when the interview ended with the child saying “did I hit my marks?” this lawyer investigated further. He found out that the mother had actually paid for her children to get acting lessons with a rather dodgy acting coach so they could falsely accuse their father of child abuse. Rightfully the mother lost any custody of her children.
5. Hey, do you want to get a drink sometime?
On a much lighter and cheerier note, one couple had quite the disagreement about custody of their son. The wife argued that all three of them should be spending time together during the holidays, so that their son could group up with in a healthy family dynamic despite the divorce. While the husband stood firm in his opposition as he believed that they should be spending more time together than she proposed. They ended up going to marriage counseling and withdrew the divorce proceeding a month later. Hopefully they’re still together today.